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"What is going on in America is extreme. The youth cult, they worship youth so much it's almost paranoid. And LA is the Mecca of it all; they're taking it to the hilt."
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"America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there."

"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."

"Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar."

"I've broken my nose, I've broken ribs. You name it. In fact, we just got back from South America, and I fell over a monitor speaker on the stage and almost ended up in the front row of the audience. I managed to sprain my wrist on that one but luckily nothing was broken."

"I think I came back from America a funnier and nicer person than I went."
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