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"These days, "getting lucky means drinking an entire cup of COFFEE while it's still HOT!"
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development
"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."
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Personal Development
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"I'd like to THANK the genius who saw a bunch of cherries and thought....HEY!! If I dry out a bunch of those berry seeds, call them "BEANS, smash them and add hot water, it will be AWESOME!!!!"
Science
"What messes us up a lot in this life is setting our expectations way too high and then being ashamed when we fail. What is worse is when we allow other people to make us feel ashamed for failing. What is worse than that is hiding and lying about our failure. It's ok to fail, especially when it's a significant life change and you gotta stand up for that right in this life."
Self
"INTEGRITY...Choosing your thoughts, words and actions based on what's right rather than what's in it for you."
Ethics
"The only true disability is the inability to accept and respect differences."
Society
"They are not grey roots! This is my new fifty shades of grey OMBRE hairstyle!"
Humor
"If you forget where you came from, you've gone too far."
Philosophy
"These days, "getting lucky means drinking an entire cup of COFFEE while it's still HOT!"
Humor
"Cancer is WAY too serious to be taken seriously all the time."
Lifestyle
"Common sense is a tool that isn't in everyone's shed."
Wisdom
"Sometimes the MOM who's always there for everyone else, needs someone to be there for HER."
Relationship
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