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"There are all sorts of books offering advice on how to deal with life-threatening situations, but where's the advice on dealing with embarrassing ones?"
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Exlpore more Embarrassment quotes
"If my mom told one more story about how cute I looked in the bathtub when I was three years old I was going to burrow into the snow and freeze myself to death."
"It's an embarrassment of riches because you have directors who don't better. You end up with so much stuff going on the screen that you don't know where to look, and that's what I consider self-indulgent."
"Juliette ? A tentative voice . " Are you okay? I lower the pillow . Blink up . Warner is wearing a towel . A towel . I want to roll under the bed ."
"Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow's embarrassment?"
"Oh my god! Oh no, no, no, no. The condoms. Hugh had seen the condoms. She wanted to bury her head under the covers and never come out."
"For no real reason " well, perhaps because of the seriousness under the trees or Nader's hair, which was very messy and covered in little grass seeds " Katie began to giggle. She knew it was wrong, yet it was also natural. She covered her mouth with both hands, but Nader was already pale with revulsion. He turned and marched away into unwanted sunlight, leaving her to wonder why bad things happened and why no good person prevented them."
"He laughs. 'Put some clothes on so you don't scare poor Kiara with your morning hard-on.'I look down at my shorts. Sure enough, I've got la tengo dura in front of Kiara and Tuck. Shit. I reach out for the first thing I can grab and put it in front of me to shield myself from view. It happens to be one of Kiara's stuffed animals, but I don't have much choice right now.'That's Kiara's Mojo,' Tuck says, laughing. 'Get it? Mojo?"
"You can imagine my embarrassment when I killed the wrong guy."
"Excessive literary production is a social offense."
Explore more quotes by Ellen DeGeneres
"The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself."
"I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think you're supposed to feel all kinds of things."
"What's not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they're actually startled when the phone rings. It's like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger. Now we answer, 'What happened? Is someone tied up in the old sawmill?'No, it's Becky. I just called to say hi.'Well you scared me half to death. You can't just pick up the phone and try to talk to me like that. Don't the tips of your fingers work?"
"When we were growing up our parents somehow made it clear that being famous was good. And I mistakenly thought that if I was famous then everyone would love me."
"Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.'Ellen: 'No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman."
"Answers to Frequently Asked Questions:Yes.Yes.No.One time in high school.Three times in my twenties.Rocks no salt.Yes.Four.Never. And how dare you!I will take no further questions."
"If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birthday is on June 9 or something. Just read up on the traits of a Gemini. Suddenly you're a multitasker who loves the color yellow. Because not only do you get stuck with them combo gift, you get the combo song. 'We wish you a merry Christmas - and happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas - happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Ye - Birthday, Terry!"
"Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings."
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