"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."

Night, Trying

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"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."

Exlpore more Night quotes

"I can find in my undergraduate classes, bright students who do not know that the stars rise and set at night, or even that the Sun is a star."

Carl Sagan, American Scientist

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"The night I announced I was getting married, Daddy paced for hours on the porch."

Loretta Lynn, American Musician

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"Dread of night. Dread of not-night."

Franz Kafka, Austrian Novelist

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"If they didn't have ten fights a night, it was a bad night."

John Hunter, British Surgeon

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"The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost."

Bennett Cerf, American Journalist

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"Perfect Night is minimalistic and that's what makes it so forceful."

Lou Reed, American Musician

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"Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive."

W. C. Fields, American Comedian

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"The cries of the sufferers on the remaining part of the wreck were heard during the night."

Grace Darling, English Celebrity

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"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

Woody Allen, American Director

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"I have been away a great deal in the daytime, occasionally at night."

Lizzie Andrew Borden, American Celebrity

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Explore more quotes by Emo Philips

"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."

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"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"

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"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"

Father

"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."

Gay

"My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often."

Sex

"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."

Men

"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."

Evil

"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."

Reason

"England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'."

England

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

Work