"Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup."

"For me, a hearty "belly laugh" is one of the beautiful sounds in the world."

"Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you."

"A pat on the back, through only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, is miles ahead in results."

"The Atomic Age is here to stay - but are we?"

"The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed."

"The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost."

"Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance."

"Fame - anyone who says he doesn't like it is crazy."

"A person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed."