"All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl."

Comedy, Pretty

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"All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl."

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"He's called you, like, four times in the past week. And seriously, you should be embarrassed. I've never met anyone who has as much phone sex as you two. My eyes narrowed on her. "How do you know about the phone sex? "Duh. I pick up the phone and listen. I gaped at her."

Gena Showalter, American Novelist

Comedy, Humor, Privacy, Family, Absurdity

"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Comedy, Humor, Truth, Life, Power

"When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving."

Steven Wright, American Comedian

Comedy, Boredom, Humor, Observation, Irony

"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."

Criss Jami, American Philosopher

Comedy, Social, Public, Humor

"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"

Kiera Cass, American Novelist

Comedy, Humor, Patience, Observation, Life

"Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down."

Eoin Colfer, Irish Author

Comedy, Humor, Reality, Observation, Irony

"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."

Bryant McGill, American Poet

Comedy, Sarcastic, Tragedy

"He's a love-'em-and-leave-'em kind of guy. And though he's not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.William growled low in his throat. "Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone? He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. "Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya's the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. "William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel."

Gena Showalter, American Novelist

Comedy, Humor, Absurdity, Secrets, Satire

"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Comedy, Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life

"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."

Deyth Banger, American Blogger

Comedy, Criticism, Truth, Power, Life

Explore more quotes by Charlie Chaplin

"I had no idea of the character. But the moment I was dressed, the clothes and the make-up made me feel the person he was. I began to know him, and by the time I walked onto the stage he was fully born."

Time

"To help a friend in need is easy, but to give him your time is not always opportune."

Time

"I suppose that's one of the ironies of life doing the wrong thing at the right moment."

Life

"I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth."

Art

"We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery."

Happiness

"Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people."

People

"I am at peace with God. My conflict is with Man."

Peace

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Exlpore more Comedy quotes

"He's called you, like, four times in the past week. And seriously, you should be embarrassed. I've never met anyone who has as much phone sex as you two. My eyes narrowed on her. "How do you know about the phone sex? "Duh. I pick up the phone and listen. I gaped at her."

"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."

"When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving."

"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."

"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"

"Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down."

"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."

"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."

"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."

Explore more quotes by Charlie Chaplin

"I had no idea of the character. But the moment I was dressed, the clothes and the make-up made me feel the person he was. I began to know him, and by the time I walked onto the stage he was fully born."

"To help a friend in need is easy, but to give him your time is not always opportune."

"I suppose that's one of the ironies of life doing the wrong thing at the right moment."

"I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth."

"I'd sooner be called a successful crook than a destitute monarch."

"The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury."

"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot."

"We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery."

"Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people."

"I am at peace with God. My conflict is with Man."