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"A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together."
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Exlpore more Christian quotes
"It is not Christianity, but priestcraft that has subjected woman as we find her."
"No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace, is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas."
"All that I am I owe to Jesus Christ, revealed to me in His divine Book."
"We shall be inclined to pronounce the voyage that led to the way to this New World as the most epoch-making event of all that have occurred since the birth of Christ."
"Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important."
"It is true that Christianity is not bound up with any particular race or culture. It is neither of the East or of the West, but has a universal mission to the human race as a whole."
"Tony Hale is a devout Christian and is a complete retard when it comes to swearing. The script called for him to swear for about 30 seconds and he just couldn't do it."
Explore more quotes by Garrison Keillor
"Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average."
"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known."
"A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer."
"A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it."
"It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming."
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