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Groucho Marx

"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."

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"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."

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Asa Don Brown

"To he who avenges a father, nothing is impossible."

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Asa Don Brown

"I used to annoy my father by telling him how much I felt luck was with me."

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Asa Don Brown

"More and more couples are having this negotiation or discussion, but I'm still amazed at the number who aren't and where the cultural norm sort of kicks in and they just assume that mom's got to be the one who stays home, not dad."

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Asa Don Brown

"It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father."

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Asa Don Brown

"And my dad wanted me to play the trumpet because that's what he liked. His idol was Louis Armstrong. My dad thought my teeth came together in a way that was perfect for playing the trumpet."

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Asa Don Brown

"Whenever I fail as a father or husband... a toy and a diamond always works."

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Asa Don Brown

"My father wasn't a very good lawyer. He thought the law was sacred and something that was meant to help people. He didn't charge people like he should have... which is why I was allowed to play bars and strip joints when I was 14."

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Asa Don Brown

"There were 15 people in the village, including five of us. If my father arrested somebody in the winter, he'd have to wait until the thaw to turn him in."

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Asa Don Brown

"There will always be a father."

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Asa Don Brown

"My earliest acting memory is making up a play for my mom and dad called The Lonesome Baby. I have no idea what The Lonesome Baby was about. I just remember the title. But I'm sure it was an epic."

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Groucho Marx
"Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough."
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Groucho Marx
"Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms."
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Groucho Marx
"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
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Groucho Marx
"It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy."
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Groucho Marx
"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
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Groucho Marx
"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music."
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Groucho Marx
"Room service? Send up a larger room."
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Groucho Marx
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
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Groucho Marx
"A man's only as old as the woman he feels."
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Groucho Marx
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."
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