"You're so full of shit, you ought to be a cow manure."

Humor, Observation, Truth, Insult

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"You're so full of shit, you ought to be a cow manure."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Country, Right

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, April, Fool, Day

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Politeness, Listening, Conversation

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

Robert A. Heinlein, American Writer

Humor, Animals, Cats, Wisdom

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, God, Idiots, Practice, School

"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Literary

Explore more quotes by Sherrilyn Kenyon

"It's easy to look at people and make quick judgements about them, their present and their pasts, but you'd be amazed at the pain and tears a single smile hides. what a person shows to the world is only one tiny facet of the iceburg hidden from sight. And more often then not, it's lined with cracks and scars that go all the way to the foundation of their soul."

Philosophy, Perception, Truth, Judgment, Emotion

"People with weaknesses get killed by the people who lack them. Notice I'm not dead."

Life, Strength, Weakness, Survival, Truth

"Just because you can doesn't mean you should."

Philosophy, Responsibility, Choice, Ethics, Decision

"Stay in the car Nick""okay."Ash gets out abd goes to look at the dead body."For an immortal being with 11,000 years under his belt Ash sure is stupid." Nick gets out and sees the blood."That's a lot of blood." Nick's book starts sending him an alert. "What Lassie? You going to tell Timmy about the well?" pulls out book, and opens it. words start to appear.LOOK AND YOUWILL SEE THATWHICH WAS CANNEVER BE.WHEN THEYSEEK A BOYYOUR AGE...... RUN, YOUFLIPPINMORON, RUN!"I'm not gonna argue with my book on that. The safest place is with Ash."

Life, Safety, Strategy, Observation, Humor

"Nick's eyes widened as a total state of befuddled huh possessed him. Was he in theTwilight Zone?"

Observation, Confusion, Surprise, Life

"Got to say, dying would really wreck my best day. Been there, done that, and now that I think about it, Artemis forgot to give me the t-shirt."

Life, Humor, Death, Experience

"People started down the road with good intentions, but the moment the road became rough or difficult, they'd abandon it."

Determination, Intention, Challenge, Persistence, Choice

"He might fight under my badge, Bet'anya, but you're the only one he would die for."

Romance, Loyalty, Protection, Commitment, Emotion

"Sometimes stars do fall to earth. It was true. They did and then became commonplace like the rest of the dirt on the planet. His star was one of a kind.He would never allow her to be like any other. Never allow her to be common or sullied.No, her place was in the sky. With her family. With her stinking pet wolf. Never with him. "Have a nice life, princess."

Romance, Uniqueness, Stars, Protection, Love

"People aren't just ants rushing around over a crust of bread. Every life, no matter how isolated, touches hundreds of others. It's up to us to decide if those micro connections are positive or negative. But whichever we decide, it does impact the ones we deal with. One word can give someone the strength they needed at that moment or it can shred them down to nothing. A single smile can turn a bad moment good. And one wrong outburst or word could be the tiny push that causes someone to slip over the edge into destruction."

Humanity, Responsibility, Influence, Life