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"Last night I dreamed of a small consolation enjoyed only by the blind: Nobody knows the trouble I've not seen!"
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"The difference between our decadence and the Russians' is that while theirs is brutal, ours is apathetic."
Difference
"The nation that complacently and fearfully allows its artists and writers to become suspected rather than respected is no longer regarded as a nation possessed with humor or depth."
Humor
"Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years."
Boys
"Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and unhappiness."
Confusion
"My opposition to Interviews lies in the fact that offhand answers have little value or grace of expression, and that such oral give and take helps to perpetuate the decline of the English language."
Answers
"Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost."
Humor
"There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else."
Numbers
"A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense."
Sense
"The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel."
Comedy
"Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more."
Men
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"The night creeps in by subtle degrees while a show of fierce colors attracts and distracts me. I look up, suddenly aware of remote lights scattered overhead. I gasp as the last streak of fire dies on the horizon, and I comprehend it all too late. That crafty, dark night has swallowed my world whole."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I can find in my undergraduate classes, bright students who do not know that the stars rise and set at night, or even that the Sun is a star."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The night I announced I was getting married, Daddy paced for hours on the porch."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I wasn't really qualified to be on Saturday Night Live - I'm not like an impressionist or anything."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Making sleep happen is a must - anytime, anywhere, from a plane to a train to an automobile. Ideally, I like to get eight to ten hours a night, though I'll take it broken up in two segments if I have to."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The one thing I could do was voices and impersonations and weird characters, and there was really no call for that, except on Saturday Night Live."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was working at this club in downtown L.A. from four to eight at night, just Eddie Rubin, the drummer, and I."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Yes, beef is what was for dinner last night. Tonight it will be my dinner, and it will continue to be."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Most of those mocking us and our works night after night have not reached the point of suggesting we are going to use those weapons. They are pretty useless right now."
Author Name
Personal Development
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