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"When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?""
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"My upbringing in Canada made me the person I am. I will always be proud to be a Canadian."

"I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was."

"I think it's a little early to tell what the economic impact will be. This year our cattle prices have been particularly high. The demand for beef has remained strong in this country, even though there was the single find in Canada earlier this year."

"Canada has always been a strong supporter of China's accession to the WTO... We look forward to playing a constructive role in helping complete China's accession."

"Here in Canada, in the Western world, we are inside the walls. Outside the walls are the barbarians."

"Actually, in this instance we do have probably a better tracking system than was the instance in Canada. Because this is a dairy cow, they're all individually tagged."

"When I started out in Canada, I did a lot of voice-overs and commercials."

"I think NASCAR's coming to Canada now so it'll take on a whole new relevance. Be afraid."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
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