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Steven Wright

"When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?""

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"When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?""

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Asa Don Brown

"My upbringing in Canada made me the person I am. I will always be proud to be a Canadian."

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Asa Don Brown

"I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was."

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Asa Don Brown

"I think it's a little early to tell what the economic impact will be. This year our cattle prices have been particularly high. The demand for beef has remained strong in this country, even though there was the single find in Canada earlier this year."

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Asa Don Brown

"Canada has always been a strong supporter of China's accession to the WTO... We look forward to playing a constructive role in helping complete China's accession."

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Asa Don Brown

"I'm hoping that I'll be able to find a distributor to come into Canada with it, because I think it is a wild and crazy romp that really tells things like it is."

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Asa Don Brown

"Here in Canada, in the Western world, we are inside the walls. Outside the walls are the barbarians."

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Asa Don Brown

"Actually, in this instance we do have probably a better tracking system than was the instance in Canada. Because this is a dairy cow, they're all individually tagged."

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Asa Don Brown

"When I started out in Canada, I did a lot of voice-overs and commercials."

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Asa Don Brown

"Scotland is the Canada of England!"

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Asa Don Brown

"I think NASCAR's coming to Canada now so it'll take on a whole new relevance. Be afraid."

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"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
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"I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second."
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"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
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"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
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"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
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"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."
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"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
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Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
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Steven Wright
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
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"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
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