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"When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?""
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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
Friendship
"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
Time
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Now
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Car
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
People
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
Power
"Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it."
Press
"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."
Future
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
Purpose
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"I'm just ah, actually developing a tv show for HBO, and I'm directing a film this summer, and actually I'm doing some live shows out in western Canada."
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Personal Development
"I'm hoping that I'll be able to find a distributor to come into Canada with it, because I think it is a wild and crazy romp that really tells things like it is."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There is a big cry in California to stop everyone from running to Canada."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?""
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was totally unknown in the television and film industry in Canada."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Canada is a good country to be from. It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Australia and Canada were settled by adventurers, they had to break new ground. I think that is indelibly etched on our cultural spirit."
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Personal Development
"I don't even know what street Canada is on."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was."
Author Name
Personal Development
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