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"I'll do humor about myself, I'll poke fun and everything, but that's me and I can do it to me. I think it's cruel to do it to somebody else."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development

"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
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"If you want to say it with flowers, a single rose says: "I'm cheap!""
Flowers

"At the end. First start off and do your youth thing In Hollywood and then go to New York later. But it wound up being later, later than I thought it was going to be."
Thought

"For me, it's like biking around the neighborhood, the walks and stuff, because I have never enjoyed the gym. Or I'll do, since I used to dance a lot, all the old dance exercises."
Dance

"In my teens or twenties I wanted to do Blanche. Now I'm over that. Those roles are not attracting me now. Which is odd, because that's what most every actress would want to go do."
Now

"Blanche talks about aging, and why should she be considered poor, because physical beauty is transitory and fading and she has such richness of the soul. I think that speech is so beautiful, and so telling and so true."
Beauty

"I love comedy, so you want to make them happy, make them laugh."
Love

"I was supposed to go to drama school and then go to New York and do theatre. But I grew up on all those fabulous movies and had read all the bold Hollywood books, and I thought I just had to take a look."
Movies

"One time we did have 300 acres in watermelons. That was fun."
Time

"I got into my very theatrical phase. I wore only black: a big black hat and wild hair and wild black clothes, and I carried a sword stick. I went there still looking like Miss Florida, and I came back looking very different."
Clothes

"For a while I was living in New Orleans for like 4, 5 years. I had just come back to town."
Living
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