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"Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me."
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"School...school... is just nothing... if you think that you are going to learn something. You are here wrong, you wanna see the system?It's in about23 Channels as a start then increases... decreases... even with different topics in the end... they want you to recall the whole data from the 23 Channels as for Perfect, as For under Perfect Okay..okay... but still not perfect, as for Good... Just an Okay... and as for Middle... Little from there and little from there as for the last... Nothing at all."
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Personal Development
"I learned to read at two. I was in a Montessori school and they teach you to read really, really young."
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Personal Development
"He nodded toward the sub. "This is going to be a blow-off day."I dragged my mind away from magical intrigue. After being homeschooled for most of my life, some parts of the "normal" school world was a mystery. "What does that mean, exactly.""Usually teacher leave subs a lesson plan, telling them what to do. I saw Ms. Terwilliger left. It said, 'Distract them."
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Personal Development
"I educated myself. To me, school was boring."
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Personal Development
"I believe in myself as I look forward to graduating from Hamilton Heights High School in 1991."
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Personal Development
"Besides, I think that when one has been through a boarding school, especially then, you have some resistance, because it was both fine comradeship and a fairly hard training."
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Personal Development
"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up."
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Personal Development
"No one has the Houdini school of composition."
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Personal Development
"And then, when I started to school, I found out I couldn't talk."
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Personal Development
"At school, I always wanted to belong to a gang, and no one would have me. So I'd have make my own gang, but with everybody else's leftovers."
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"Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion."
Exhaustion
"President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards."
Baseball
"Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen."
Dating
"John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career."
Control
"In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union."
People
"The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said he'd like to help, but he's pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army."
Government
"In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have."
Cure
"In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath."
Man
"Fish recognize a bad leader."
Leader
"If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice."
Life
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