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Ilona Andrews

"What's that?""That's my attack poodle."

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"What's that?""That's my attack poodle."

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Amber Hurdle

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

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Amber Hurdle

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

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Amber Hurdle

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

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Amber Hurdle

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

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Amber Hurdle

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

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Amber Hurdle

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

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Amber Hurdle

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

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Amber Hurdle

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

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Amber Hurdle

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."

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Amber Hurdle

"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries."

Explore more quotes by Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
"Yes, Curran said. "We'd like you to officiate."I'm sorry?"We'd like you to marry us, I said.Roman's eyes went wide. He pointed to himself. "Me?"Yes, Curran said."Marry you?"Yes."You do know what I do, right?"Yes, I said. "You're Chernobog's priest."
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Ilona Andrews
"Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?""You tell me." Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did."
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Ilona Andrews
"When in doubt, poke the beehive with a stick to see if anything interesting flies out.I clapped my hands. 'I had no idea Pit teams had such pretty cheerleaders. Can you do it again, but with more spirit this time?"
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Ilona Andrews
"The only way to make sure that the Hand didn't get to you would have been to kill your brother. I could've done it, but I didn't. I just gave him some drugs.""You gave an addict in rehab drugs, and you want credit for it?""Of course it sounds bad when you put it that way."
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Ilona Andrews
"So crosses don't do anything against your kind?" Sean asked."No," Arland said. "There is no mystical force repelling us.""Then why?""We're forbidden to kill a creature in a moment of prayer or invocation of their deity. Well, we can, technically, but you have to do penance and purify yourself and nobody wants to spend weeks praying and bathing themselves in the sacred cave springs. The water's only a fraction warmer than ice. When one of you holds up a cross, it's difficult to determine whether you're praying, invoking, or just waving it around. So the sane strategy is to back away."
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Ilona Andrews
"Andrea raised her hand. "This is the hand that slapped Aunt B."Maybe you should have it gold-plated."Here, you can touch it, since you're my best friend."
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Ilona Andrews
"Leaving what is safe so you can be more, Derek said. The cage is what the bird knows; the sky is all the things he still wants to do even if it's a risk."
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Ilona Andrews
"An evil spark flared in his eyes. "Trade: raccoon for some answers."
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Ilona Andrews
"I have a serious question.""I will give a serious answer.""Can a god be killed?"The humor drained from Roman's face. "Well, that depends on if you're a pantheist or a Marxist.""What's the difference?""The first believes that divinity is the universe. The two are synonymous and nonexistent without each other. The second believes in anthropocentrism, seeing man in the center of the universe, and god as just an invention of human conscience. Of course, if you follow Nietzsche, you can kill God just by thinking about him."
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Ilona Andrews
"You're right, my problems are the biggest problems ever," George said. "No, honestly, it's horrible to be me. I'm rich, talented, and I make girls cry.""How do you make girls cry, exactly?"George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expression. He leaned forward, and, in a theatrical whisper, said, "My past is tragic. I wouldn't want to burden you with it. It's a pain I must suffer alone. In the rain. In silence."
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