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Groucho Marx

"All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats."

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"All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats."

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Amber Hurdle

"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."

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Amber Hurdle

"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."

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Amber Hurdle

"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."

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Amber Hurdle

"I hope that people will finally come to realize that there is only one 'race' - the human race - and that we are all members of it."

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Amber Hurdle

"I'm not sure whay I've been drawn to this subject, except that murder is a subject that has always drawn people for as long as people have been telling stories."

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Amber Hurdle

"If you ask a hundred people, they all give you different answers."

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Amber Hurdle

"You can be around 100 people and be completely alone. People don't realize what it's really like."

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Amber Hurdle

"In our leisure we reveal what kind of people we are."

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Amber Hurdle

"With most people disbelief in a thing is founded on a blind belief in some other thing."

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Amber Hurdle

"Too late, the ordinary German realized that the violence which before had been directed against 'other' people could now equally land on him."

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Groucho Marx
"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
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Groucho Marx
"Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?"
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Groucho Marx
"Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough."
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Groucho Marx
"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
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Groucho Marx
"Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms."
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Groucho Marx
"I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty."
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Groucho Marx
"A man's only as old as the woman he feels."
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Groucho Marx
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
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Groucho Marx
"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it."
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Groucho Marx
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
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