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Frank Carson

"Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?"

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"Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?"

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A.E. Samaan

"I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."

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"The hydrogen powered car, with its high fuel mileage and zero emission rate, is just one example of the products under development that will help increase our energy independence."

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A.E. Samaan

"Stay humble. Always answer your phone - no matter who else is in the car."

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A.E. Samaan

"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

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"Most of us would never consider getting our car repaired without first receiving an estimate of the charges, but this is exactly what we do when we need to go to a hospital for treatment."

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A.E. Samaan

"America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable."

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A.E. Samaan

"Just because you put higher-octane gasoline in your car doesn't mean you can break the speed limit. The speed limit's still 65."

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A.E. Samaan

"I think that people don't know how to do anything anymore. My father was a janitor. He could take a car apart and put it back together. He could build a house in the back yard. Today, if you ask people what they know, they say, 'I know how to hire someone.'"

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A.E. Samaan

"Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president."

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A.E. Samaan

"In the end I didn't get a top car any more. I had no toughness left. That was the reality."

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Frank Carson
"So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'."
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Frank Carson
"Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?"
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Frank Carson
"I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance."
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Frank Carson
"I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man."
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