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"Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a hell of a lot more effective in court. So your set, McMullen."
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"You're just a huge romantic at heart, aren't you?""If there's cash involved, I'm anything you want me to be."

"Her philosophy was, if it had a pulse, it could be killed. I didn't really have a philosophy, but I could see how talking with the school director would be difficult for her. If he said something she didn't like, chopping him to tiny pieces wouldn't exactly help me get into the school."

"I used my history degree about twice a year whether I needed to or not."

"Spirituality cannot be an excuse for not making money!!! Just a justification for failure!"

"Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically, that they know a lot. That is, they know one important thing: there is no evidence that head lice transmit disease."

"Over a lifetime of dealing with difficult women, I have learned it is often better to give into their demands immediately."

"All theories are legitimate, no matter. What matters is what you do with them."

"We must consult our means rather than our wishes."

"It is better to be a pragmatist than a lunatic."
Explore more quotes by Lois Greiman

"Some people are street-smart, some people are book-smart, but most people are just dumber than dirt."

"You guys gotta get a license to drive a Geo, but any doofus with a few good swimmers can be a father."

"In 50 years it won't matter if he's handsome, ugly, or dumb as a post, just try to find someone who don't make you want to shove a pitchfork up his nose."

"Men are like beer. Some are bold and some are smooth. But every damn one of 'em has a big-ass head full of air."
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