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"I'm keeping my acerbic wit completely fueled."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I am often the brunt of my own humor."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If it works, it will be plenty dramatic. And I suppose that if it doesn't work, it will be even more dramatic, what with the blast.""David, I think you just made a joke."He frowned, utterly perplexed. "Did I?"
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Personal Development
"You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Make the doors upon a woman's wit,and it will out at the casement;shut that, and 'twill out at the key-hole;stop that, 'twill fly with the smoke out at the chimney."
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Personal Development
"He who has provoked the lash of wit, cannot complain that he smarts from it."
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Personal Development
"When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a transplant. Bad part is we don't have any."
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Personal Development
"Take a pinch of snuff, doctor, and acknowledge that I have scored over you in your example."
Author Name
Personal Development
"This is a lot more satisfying," he said, "when I have intelligent life whom I can render awed, rapt with attention for my clever verbosity."The ugly lizard-crab-thing on the next rock over clicked its claw, an almost hesitant sound."Your right, of course," Wit said. "My usual audience isn't particularly intelligent. That was also the obvious joke, however, so shame on you."
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Personal Development
"Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade."
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Personal Development
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"Friendship isn't a science mudboy. Just do what you think is right."
Friendship
"Are you an angel or a devil, sir? I need to know. Are you taking me up or down?"
Temptation
"Some people just needed to be stolen from."
Crime
"That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy.'Pex was unrepentant. 'Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things.'But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror.'I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?'Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me."
Absurdity
"Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over."
Expectation
"Time to do what he did best - plot dastardly acts."
Planning
"Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know."
Knowledge
"Meg and Belch only had eyes for each other. Not in the usual romantic sense."
Love
"Orion nodded, then asked, 'Dwarf cheese?'Cheese made by dwarfs.'Oh, said Orion, relieved. 'They make it. It's not actually . . .'No. What a horrible thought.'Exactly."
Humor
"Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder."
Childhood
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