"Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't."

Wit, Humor, Sarcasm, Irony, Warning

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"Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't."

Exlpore more Wit quotes

"Artemis: 'Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre.'Myles: 'In Paris.'Artemis: 'Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?'Beckett: 'Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?'Myles: 'I agree with simple-toon.'Artemis: 'No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'Beckett: 'Itchy what?"

Eoin Colfer, Irish Author

Wit, Humor, Brotherhood, Dialogue

"Nothing is so great an example of bad manners as flattery. If you flatter all the company, you please none; If you flatter only one or two, you offend the rest."

Jonathan Swift, Irish Writer

Wit, Company, Example, Flattery, Manners

"I'm keeping my acerbic wit completely fueled."

Janice Dickinson, American Model

Wit,

"If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them I want to be one of me."

Craig Ferguson, Scottish Comedian

Wit, Individual, Identity, Resistance, Freedom

"If it works, it will be plenty dramatic. And I suppose that if it doesn't work, it will be even more dramatic, what with the blast.""David, I think you just made a joke."He frowned, utterly perplexed. "Did I?"

Leigh Bardugo, Israeli Author

Wit, Humor, Drama, Irony, Dialogue

"Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade."

Noel Coward, English Playwright

Wit,

"Great men may jest with saints 'tis wit in them But in the less foul profanation."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

Wit, Truth, Wisdom, Power, Life

"My mother-in-law belongs in Hell, but the devil is afraid she'll end up taking over."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Wit, Humor, Family, Light-hearted, Courage

"Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with the seven-layer dip...And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game."Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing Soprano for a week."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Wit, Humor, Truth, Power, Life

"Conversation of the Day - He: How do you describe yourself in two words?Me: You don't."

Sanhita Baruah, Indian Writer

Wit, Humor, Identity, Communication, Expression

Explore more quotes by Eoin Colfer

"I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal."

Protection

"The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present."

History

"Artemis: 'Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre.'Myles: 'In Paris.'Artemis: 'Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?'Beckett: 'Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?'Myles: 'I agree with simple-toon.'Artemis: 'No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'Beckett: 'Itchy what?"

Wit

"Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss."

Knowledge

"A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon."

Vision

"Orion nodded, then asked, 'Dwarf cheese?'Cheese made by dwarfs.'Oh, said Orion, relieved. 'They make it. It's not actually . . .'No. What a horrible thought.'Exactly."

Humor

"How did that go [Butler] asked. 'Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age.'Fabulous, said Artemis, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 'We're planning a June wedding."

Social

"I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?"

Surrender

"Today he became a killer, or else a corpse."

Life

"Tonight, history was going to be made. And it wasn't the discovery-of-radium, first-man-on-the-moon happy kind of history. It was the Spanish-Inquisition, here-comes-the-Hindenburg bad kind of history."

History