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Mitch Hedberg

"I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific."

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"I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific."

Exlpore more Night quotes

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Akiroq Brost

"I can find in my undergraduate classes, bright students who do not know that the stars rise and set at night, or even that the Sun is a star."

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Akiroq Brost

"The night I announced I was getting married, Daddy paced for hours on the porch."

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Akiroq Brost

"The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost."

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Akiroq Brost

"Night fell clean and cold in Dublin, and wind moaned beyond my room as if a million pipes played the air."

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Akiroq Brost

"We were talking about how old quarterbacks can't throw before 10 am... Practice starts too early for us. Wake me up in the middle of the night and I can throw. I can throw anytime."

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Akiroq Brost

"I started working when I was seven and I was working for five dollars a night at the Met."

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Akiroq Brost

"There's no twilight in the tropics. Night falls like a curtain."

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Akiroq Brost

"How lovely are the portals of the night, when stars come out to watch the daylight die."

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Akiroq Brost

"I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter."

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Akiroq Brost

"When I lay my head on the pillow at night I can say I was a decent person today. That's when I feel beautiful."

Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

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Mitch Hedberg
"I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."
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Mitch Hedberg
"If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."
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Mitch Hedberg
"Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes."
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Mitch Hedberg
"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."
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Mitch Hedberg
"Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."
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