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"There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong."
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"I go to the gym five days a week and I have a personal trainer. I am on a strict diet, which is kind of hard to keep up with on the road, but I stick to it as well as I can."
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Personal Development
"The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it."
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Personal Development
"Hate is a draining bottomless pit from whence nothing good or of any value can come. Try to eat a balanced diet. Guys only want one thing."
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Personal Development
"We have the opportunity to provide the first FDA reviewed and approved over-the-counter option that can help people lose weight and make changes to their lifestyle and diet."
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Personal Development
"Frank stared at her. "But you throw Ding Dongs at monsters."Iris looked horrified. "Oh, they're not Ding Dongs."She rummaged under the counter and brought out a package of chocolate covered cakes that looked exactly like Ding Dongs. "These are gluten-free, no-sugar-added, vitamin-enriched, soy-free, goat-milk-and-seaweed-based cupcake simulations.""All natural!" Fleecy chimed in."I stand corrected." Frank suddenly felt as queasy as Percy."
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Personal Development
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
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Personal Development
"I am not naturally that thin, so I had to go through everything from using drugs to diet pills to laxatives to fasting. Those were my main ways of controlling my weight."
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Personal Development
"I certainly feel that the time is not far distant when a knowledge of the principles of diet will be an essential part of one's education. Then mankind will eat to live, be able to do better mental and physical work and disease will be less frequent."
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Personal Development
"I always recommend a sensible diet, including lots of carbohydrates and avoiding too much fat. Dancers don't need different fuel from other people - they just need more of it because they use more energy."
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Personal Development
"My doctor explained that exercise and diet changes might help and that I also might need a medication."
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Personal Development
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"You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered."
Truth
"My goal is just to become a better comedian."
Goal
"The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off."
Thought
"The next time you have a thought... let it go."
Time
"There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong."
Diet
"There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years."
Life
"I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability."
Ability
"I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling."
Travel
"You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out."
First
"I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow."
Today
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