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Edward Albee

"I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor."

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"I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."

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Assegid Habtewold

"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""

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Assegid Habtewold

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

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Assegid Habtewold

"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."

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Assegid Habtewold

"This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper."

Explore more quotes by Edward Albee

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Edward Albee
"The difference between critics and audiences is that one is a group of humans and one is not."
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Edward Albee
"Sometimes it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly."
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Edward Albee
"What people really want in the theater is fantasy involvement and not reality involvement."
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Edward Albee
"Remember one thing about democracy. We can have anything we want and at the same time, we always end up with exactly what we deserve."
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Edward Albee
"I'm not suggesting that the play is without fault; all of my plays are imperfect, I'm rather happy to say-it leaves me something to do."
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Edward Albee
"One must let the play happen to one; one must let the mind loose to respond as it will, to receive impressions, to sense rather than know, to gather rather than immediately understand."
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Edward Albee
"If Attila the Hun were alive today, he'd be a drama critic."
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Edward Albee
"I swear, if you existed I'd divorce you."
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Edward Albee
"American critics are like American universities. They both have dull and half-dead faculties."
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Edward Albee
"Your source material is the people you know, not those you don't know, but every character is an extension of the author's own personality."
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