top of page
Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."

"The Fool held his breath. On long nights on the hard flagstones he had dreamed of women like her. Although, if he really thought about it, not much like her; they were better endowed around the chest, their noses weren't so red and pointed, and their hair tended to flow more. But the Fool's libido was bright enough to tell the difference between the impossible and the conceivably attainable, and hurriedly cut in some filter circuits."

"D'yer see it? This finger, laddie, could send ye to meet yer Maker!Sgt. Deisenburger stared at the black and purple nail a few inches from his face. As an offensive weapon it rated quite highly, especially if it was ever used in the preparation of food."

"Showing off is more ridiculous in instances where the thing that is being shown off was bought on credit."

"It is dull, Son of Adam, to drink without eating," said the Queen presently. "What would you like best to eat?""Turkish Delight, please, your Majesty," said Edmund."

"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."

"I HAVE MADE THIS FOR YOU. She reached out and took a damp square of cardboard. Water dripped off the bottom. Somewhere in the middle, a few brown feathers seemed to have been glued on. 'Thank you. Er ... what is it?'ALBERT SAID THERE OUGHT TO BE SNOW ON IT, BUT IT APPEARS TO HAVE MELTED, said Death. IT IS, OF COURSE, A HOGSWATCH CARD.'Oh ...' THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A ROBIN ON IT AS WELL, BUT I HAD CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY IN GETTING IT TO STAY ON. 'Ah...'IT WAS NOT AT ALL COOPERATIVE.'Really ...?'IT DID NOT SEEM TO GET INTO THE HOGSWATCH SPIRIT AT ALL."
Explore more quotes by Ally Carter

"Liz paced and talked like it was just another test. Another challenge. She was looking at it like an exercise in probability - cause and effect. It's the physics of human nature, and to truly understand it, one has to be objective and cool."

"You really saw some?' Liz said an hour later. Sure, we had the stereo blaring and the shower running, but Liz still whispered, 'They really...exist?' 'Liz,' I whispered back, 'they're not unicorns.' 'No,' Bex said flatly, 'they're boys. And they're...good."

"I think you're freaked about what happened at Cambridge. I think it scared you.''I've been through worse, Bex, I said, joining her on the lower stairs. 'Way worse.'Oh, not the attack. Bex raised her finger in contradiction. 'What happened before the attack. I think you saw the future. Which is kind of freaky when - two months ago - you didn't think you were going to have one."

"A mind is totally big enough to get lost inside - to go crazy if you're left with too much time and too much room to let your biggest fears run free."

"And so that means...''We have to rob the Henley,' Simon said.Kat sank onto a truly uncomfortable sofa. 'Again."

"You can't really yell at your boyfriend for stealing your seat and your best friend. You also can't yell at your best friend for stealing your boyfriend. Or you can but Hi seemed like a much easier way to start the morning."
bottom of page