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Dorothy Parker

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

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"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

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Akiroq Brost

"Your sarcasm and general assholeness are not necessary, Apollo remarked casually.I grinned at him. "I don't think 'assholeness' is a word."It is if I say it is. Apollo drew in a deep breath, a sure sign his temper was reaching its knock-Seth-into-the-nearby-ocean point."

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Akiroq Brost

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

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Akiroq Brost

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

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Akiroq Brost

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

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Akiroq Brost

"Aw, you're nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?"

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Akiroq Brost

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

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Akiroq Brost

"Vengeance was one hell of a roommate."

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Akiroq Brost

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

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Akiroq Brost

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

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Akiroq Brost

"Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn."

Explore more quotes by Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
"And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the right word."
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Dorothy Parker
"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."
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Dorothy Parker
"Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?"
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Dorothy Parker
"They sicken of calm who know the storm."
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Dorothy Parker
"My love runs by like a day in June, And he makes no friends of sorrows. He'll tread his galloping rigadoon In the pathway of the morrows. He'll live his days where the sunbeams start, Nor could storm or wind uproot him. My own dear love, he is all my heart, -- And I wish somebody'd shoot him."
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Dorothy Parker
"I never see that prettiest thing-A cherry bough gone white with Spring-But what I think, 'How gay 'twould beTo hang me from a flowering tree."
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Dorothy Parker
"Some men break your heart in two,Some men fawn and flatter,Some men never look at you;And that cleans up the matter."
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Dorothy Parker
"Wit has truth in it wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words."
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Dorothy Parker
"God, the bitter misery that reading works into this world! Everybody knows that - everbody who IS everybody. All the best minds have been off reading for years. Look at the swing La Rouchefoucauld took at it. He said that if nobody had ever learned to read, very few people would be in love. Good for you, La Rouchefoucauld; nice going, boy. I wish I'd never learned to read."
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Dorothy Parker
"Where unwilling dies the rose Buds the new another year."
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