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"Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print."
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"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
Car
"We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective."
Society
"Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it."
Life
"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent."
Travel
"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
Purpose
"Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting."
Humor
"And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West."
Society
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."
Humor
"Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators."
Cause
"As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula."
Humor
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"Look to the Lord and the power of His grace."
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Personal Development
"I have read the bible, seen its errors and perfections, but the bits of lie contained therein has contaminated the truth."
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Personal Development
"Every formula of every religion has in this age of reason, to submit to the acid test of reason and universal assent."
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Personal Development
"Freedom of religion is not enough; we need the extinction of it, because no one has turned to be a religious by their own choice."
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Personal Development
"One of the reasons God did not make a lover for Himself when He made one for Adam is because He knew that fewer people would take Him seriously once He had an ex."
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Personal Development
"A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows."
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Personal Development
"All ministries, therefore, must be subjected to this test-if they do not glorify Christ, they are not of the Holy Spirit."
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Personal Development
"Religion comes not where reign fundamentalism and authoritarianism."
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Personal Development
"Soul winning for Christ Jesus is a great business everyone must endeavor to start and keep it diligently."
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Personal Development
"Religion is a set of rituals."
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Personal Development
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