"My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home."

Home, Wife, Night

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"My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home."

Exlpore more Home quotes

"There are a number of things wrong with Washington. One of them is that everyone is too far from home."

Dwight D. Eisenhower, American President

Home, Washington, Wrong

"A house isn't a home without the ineffable contentment of a cat with its tail folded about its feet. A cat gives mystery, charm, suggestion."

L. M. Montgomery, Canadian Author

Home, Comfort, Cats, Mystery

"My tent doesn't look like much but, as an estate agent might say, "It is air-conditioned and has exceptional location."

Fennel Hudson, British Author

Home, Comfort, Location, Life

"Home is where they want you to stay longer."

Stephen King, American Author

Home, Belonging, Truth, Attachment

"A house from which nobody ever went away without feeling better in some way. A house in which there was always laughter."

L. M. Montgomery, Canadian Author

Home, Joy, Kindness, Laughter

"Laura Ingalls Wilder said, "Home is the nicest place there is."

Kenneth Eade, American Author

Home, Comfort, Safety, Belonging

"The instruction we find in books is like fire. We fetch it from our neighbours, kindle it at home, communicate it to others, and it becomes the property of all."

Voltaire, French Writer

Home, Books, Fire, Property

"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German Poet

Home, Peace

"The heart of the home beats in the kitchen and a healthy one beats three times a day."

Bangambiki Habyarimana, Rwandan Author

Home, Heart, Kitchen, Health

"There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Home, Comfort, Nothing

Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."

Argument

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."

Being

"The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."

Luck

"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife."

Wife

"I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

Parents

"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it."

Wife

"I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get."

Pet

"My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive."

Car

"At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't."

Hope

"One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control."

Control