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"I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography."
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"Every artist writes his own autobiography."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There may be a point where I may decide to write an autobiography."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I've been working on my autobiography, just pecking away in longhand. The more you write, the more you remember. The more you remember, the more detail you recall. It's not all pleasant!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I might go on discussing this subject at great length, but after all is said, done, and written, my own book of experiences will best show what these obstacles are, and how I managed to overcome them to some extent."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Autobiography begins with a sense of being alone. It is an orphan form."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Autobiography is probably the most respectable form of lying."
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Personal Development
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"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"
Birthday
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
Friendship
"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
Time
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
Purpose
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Now
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Car
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
Thought
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
People
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
Power
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