"The only way to the top is killing and greed. Okay, I'm kidding. But killing helps."

Humor, Violence, Success, Ambition

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"The only way to the top is killing and greed. Okay, I'm kidding. But killing helps."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Confusion, Logic, Irony

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Women, Needs, Attention

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Change, Responsibility, Life

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

Humor, Death, Danger, Irony

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Humor, Truth, Happiness, Power

Explore more quotes by Doug Coupland

"The person who needs the other person the least in a relationship is the stronger member."

Needs,

"People are pretty forgiving when it comes to other people's families. The only family that ever horrifies you is your own."

Family, People, Pretty

"The capacity for not feeling lonely can carry a very real price, that of feeling nothing at all."

Emotional, Feeling, Lonely, Nothing

"I don't want any vegetables, thank you. I paid for the cow to eat them for me."

Want,

"Where does personality end and brain damage begin?"

Psychology, End, Personality

"In the future, torture will once again become the recreational sport of the rich."

Future, Will

"We want our idols to be dead because it makes death a much less scary place."

Death, Idols, Want

"I find it hard to believe that human beings are the crowning achievement of life on earth. Something better than us has to come along."

Life, Achievement, Earth

"We live in an era with no historical precedents. History is no longer useful as a tool in helping us understand current changes."

History, Precedents

"With Google I'm starting to burn out on knowing the answer to everything. People in the year 2020 are going to be nostalgic for the sensation of feeling clueless."

People, Feeling