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"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes."
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"The night creeps in by subtle degrees while a show of fierce colors attracts and distracts me. I look up, suddenly aware of remote lights scattered overhead. I gasp as the last streak of fire dies on the horizon, and I comprehend it all too late. That crafty, dark night has swallowed my world whole."
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Personal Development
"Dread of night. Dread of not-night."
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Personal Development
"The show is different every night, because I never write a setlist."
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Personal Development
"The night I announced I was getting married, Daddy paced for hours on the porch."
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Personal Development
"I'm afraid of the dark, so I have a lot of night-lights."
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Personal Development
"How lovely are the portals of the night, when stars come out to watch the daylight die."
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Personal Development
"You noticed from last night, we only did two from the 80s. And our set's two hours long."
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Personal Development
"The Brooklyn Dodgers had a no hitter last night."
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Personal Development
"I'd still prefer to do five nights at a club than one night at Allstate Arena."
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Personal Development
"We didn't let a night go by that we didn't play."
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"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."
Family
"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."
Night
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
"My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often."
Sex
"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."
Coffee
"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."
Computer
"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""
Time
"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."
Evil
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
Father
"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
Worth
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