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"After all, what could you expect from a pig but a grunt?"
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development

"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."
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"Aunt Elizabeth said, 'Do you expect to attend many balls, if I may ask?' and I said, 'Yes, when I am rich and famous.' and Aunt Elizabeth said, 'Yes, when the moon is made of green cheese."
Dreams

"She had dreamed some brilliant dreams during the past winter and now they lay in the dust around her. In her present mood of self-disgust, she could not immediately begin dreaming again. And she discovered that, while solitude with dreams is glorious, solitude without them has few charms."
Reflection

"Proverbs are all very fine when there's nothing to worry you, but when you're in real trouble, they're not a bit of help."
Help

"There is so much in the world for us if we only have the eyes to see it, and the heart to love it, and the hand to gather it ourselves- so much in men and women, so much in art and literature, so much everywhere in which to delight, and for which to be thankful for."
Beauty

"The trouble with you people is that you don't laugh enough."
Joy

"Because when you are imagining, you might as well imagine something worth while."
Imagination

"Some people go through life trying to find out what the world holds for them only to find out too late that it's what they bring to the world that really counts."
Purpose

"She suddenly found herself laughing without bitterness."
Emotion

"I wouldn't want to marry anybody who was wicked, but I think I'd like it if he could be wicked and wouldn't."
Love

"Fear is the original sin, suddenly said a still, small voice away back-back-back of Valancy's consciousness. "Almost all the evil in the world has its origin in the fact that some one is afraid of something.Valancy stood up. She was still in the clutches of fear, but her soul was her own again. She would not be false to that inner voice."
Courage
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