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"I didn't think I would make this much money."
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"Second, we're spending a huge amount of money on technology so that everyone can check out laptops and portable phones. We're spending more money to write our existing information into databases or onto CD-ROM."

"We would take a little bit of money out of a huge increase in ballistic missile defense and put it in a place where it will do a lot of good, namely, in targeted pay increases to our enlisted personnel, particularly our NCOs and our junior warrant officers."

"Want of money and the distress of a thief can never be alleged as the cause of his thieving, for many honest people endure greater hardships with fortitude. We must therefore seek the cause elsewhere than in want of money, for that is the miser's passion, not the thief s."

"I have been very lucky to find something I am good at and can make money at... Playing with Bruce was the embodiment of everything that a little kid could dream about."
Explore more quotes by Mike Judge

"Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it."

"Why should every single character be an honor student who goes around helping others and never doing anything wrong? Is that like the rule or something?"

"It was really weird, when this thing started, to hear lawyers and MTV people calling me and actually saying 'ButtHead.' People tried to avoid it too."

"They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever."

"I don't return anybody's calls unless it's going to mean extra money for me. And I've completely cut off all relationships with any friends that I had before the show. And I've copped an attitude."

"When I was a kid it was like, who could be the coolest? Who could do the stupidest thing? And you knew it was a stupid thing to do, but you would do it just so you could be the coolest guy. And then you end up doing really cruel crap."

"I've seen a lot of pairs of guys that have been hanging out together way too long-until they're laughing all the time."
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