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Phyllis Diller

"Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children."

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"Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children."

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Asa Don Brown

"A butler supplies food to nourish your body, but a writer nourishes your mind through writing."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"Do not be weary to make money."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"Back then, work revolved around life. Today, life revolves around work."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"Do all the work you while you still have strength."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"A job is a contract whereby you sell out a bit of your life daily."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"Love by the sweat of thy brow.Not through whispered words of hollow sound or lofty dreams ne'er substance bound that more than oft do run aground. Nay, love with mighty, blistered hands that turn the soil and carve the land. A bearer of toil and golden band. Be strong! A founder of the feast! Protective knight who slays the beast! For promises and vows aloud are naught but wispy veneer shroud like cobwebs, frail, the airy words and wooing fail. So work, my darling. Toil as proof. Thy loyal heart be drained of youth and yet beat on, incessant sound. Both feet take root within the ground, and service be thy kingly crown.Love by the sweat of thy brow."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"Work like it is your passion, vision, and mission. Love like you are drunk with love without intermission."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"Your life content reduces with employment."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"A specialist's mind is a slave to his specialization."

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Phyllis Diller
"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."

Baseball

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Phyllis Diller
"Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."

Home

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Phyllis Diller
"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."

Thought

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Phyllis Diller
"Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."

Age

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Phyllis Diller
"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."

Time

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Phyllis Diller
"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."

Anger

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Phyllis Diller
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

Bed

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Phyllis Diller
"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."

Woman

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Phyllis Diller
"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."

Children

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Phyllis Diller
"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."

Blood

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