top of page
.png){kind=small}
"I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter."
Standard
Customized
More
"I remember in the early days when we played six nights a week for a month and I was doing my long drum solo every night. My hands were covered in blisters."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I am a night painter, so when I come into the studio the next morning the delirium is over."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I enjoy Saturday night racing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The two hours onstage is great. But I can only play a show and then take a night off. I have to sing for two hours, and then I've gotta rest it for a night. So it's the other 46 hours that are just boring as heck."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Turn up your radio. Watch lots of telly and eat loads of choc. Feel guilty. Stay up all night. Learn everything in six hours that has taken you two years to compile. That's how I did it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My dear doctor, I am surprised to hear you say that I am coughing very badly, as I have been practising all night."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When I was 14, I played in a summer league. One night the chief umpire asked me if I would like to try umpiring. There was a Little League tournament coming up and he needed more umpires than he had."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I wasn't really qualified to be on Saturday Night Live - I'm not like an impressionist or anything."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You have a different crowd every night, so you should do a different show to suit them. I tailor the show to their mood."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Night is purer than day; it is better for thinking, loving and dreaming. At night everything is more intense, more true. The echo of words that have been spoken during the day takes on a new and deeper meaning."
Author Name
Personal Development
More
"I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator."
Buying
"When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction."
Science
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
Gender
"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."
Warning
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
Time
"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."
Comedy
"It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."
Science
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
Comedy
"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time."
Time
"When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect, then they told me nobody's perfect so I stopped practicing."
Logic
bottom of page