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Steven Wright

"I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter."

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"I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter."

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Brennan Manning

"I can find in my undergraduate classes, bright students who do not know that the stars rise and set at night, or even that the Sun is a star."

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Brennan Manning

"The night creeps in by subtle degrees while a show of fierce colors attracts and distracts me. I look up, suddenly aware of remote lights scattered overhead. I gasp as the last streak of fire dies on the horizon, and I comprehend it all too late. That crafty, dark night has swallowed my world whole."

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Personal Development

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Brennan Manning

"It is always consoling to think of suicide: in that way one gets through many a bad night."

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Personal Development

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Brennan Manning

"If it comes back, I think that Friday night is not a good night to be on."

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Personal Development

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Brennan Manning

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

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Personal Development

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Brennan Manning

"If they didn't have ten fights a night, it was a bad night."

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Personal Development

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Brennan Manning

"One or two of the trips were a bit scary. Soldiers had me at gun point on one trip, locked me in my van all night and escorted me in and out of buildings when I wanted to wash."

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Personal Development

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Brennan Manning

"But, you know, they don't enjoy the dinner hour together. It's just not as much of a ritual at night and it's interesting. I think the ritual is taking place perhaps more in the morning."

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Personal Development

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Brennan Manning

"We didn't let a night go by that we didn't play."

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Personal Development

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Brennan Manning

"How lovely are the portals of the night, when stars come out to watch the daylight die."

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Steven Wright
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

Now

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Steven Wright
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

People

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Steven Wright
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."

Thought

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Steven Wright
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."

Car

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Steven Wright
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."

Purpose

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Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

Car

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Steven Wright
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."

Friendship

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Steven Wright
"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."

Time

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Steven Wright
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."

Thought

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Steven Wright
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."

Power

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