"She gave him a double-birded salute, and he barked out a rusty laugh. I'm laughing. Me. When was the last time that had happened? He couldn't remember. But she kept doing things to amuse him. Shock him, even. Like pulling out a sword and expressing a very real fear about zombies. Zombies."

Humor, Surprise, Connection, Absurdity

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"She gave him a double-birded salute, and he barked out a rusty laugh. I'm laughing. Me. When was the last time that had happened? He couldn't remember. But she kept doing things to amuse him. Shock him, even. Like pulling out a sword and expressing a very real fear about zombies. Zombies."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your sarcasm and general assholeness are not necessary, Apollo remarked casually.I grinned at him. "I don't think 'assholeness' is a word."It is if I say it is. Apollo drew in a deep breath, a sure sign his temper was reaching its knock-Seth-into-the-nearby-ocean point."

Jennifer L. Armentrout, American Author

Humor, Conflict, Speech, Temper

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Communication, Life, Patience

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"Aw, you're nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Social, Interaction

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

John Irving, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Religion, Truth

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

Humor, Economy, Choice, Alcohol

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven't done in years- barnyard sounds."

Simone Elkeles, American Author

Humor, Playfulness, Observation, Truth

Explore more quotes by Gena Showalter

"Every night death came, slowly, painfully, and every morning Maddox awoke in bed, knowing he'd have to die again later. That was his greatest curse and his eternal punishment."

Suffering, Repetition, Existence, Pain

"Just in case you get any ideas, know that I'll be sleeping with a can of Mace in one hand and pepper spray in the other. - KatieJorlan's expression turned mocking. "Just in case you get any ideas, know that I'll be sleeping with a feather in one hand and massage oil in the other."

Protection, Humor, Threat, Irony

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I might be a vampire so I don't give a shit. I'll heal."

Resilience, Humor, Recovery, Strength

"A man and wife should see the best in each other, should work together, should enjoy each other."

Marriage, Partnership, Respect, Love

"I may remember you, Scarlet, he bellowed, backing up when she grabbed her fork and held it out like a dagger. She'd murdered men with less. Even immortals. "But you haven't haunted me. Motions stiff, he raised his shirt. Amid the cuts, above his heart, was a tattoo of eyes. Dark eyes. Like hers. "Don't you see? You haven't haunted me.""

Memory, Love, Intensity, Emotion

"Legion hissed like a startled cat, the noise scraping at Reyes's skin. "Me no boy. You think me a boy?Everyone stopped, stared. Even Aeron.Reyes was the first to find his voice. "You're a girl?A nod. "Me pretty."Yes, you are. Reyes exchanged a glance with Lucien. "Beautiful."

Identity, Recognition, Beauty, Acceptance

"One day, Dane snarled, "I'm going to put your nuts in a grinder and make a testicle salad sandwich."

Conflict, Anger, Threat, Violence, Intensity

"How does fear become so powerful? We can't see it. We can't touch it, yet it gets its claws in us and begins to control us. Sigh. I hate feeling afraid, and I hate, hate, HATE feeling out of control."

Fear, Control, Anxiety, Emotion

"I pictured the two of them alone. Perhaps showering together, as Rome and I liked to do. My stomach clenched painfully, amusement forgotten. "Cody, will you take me to the nearest clinic? I need someone to dig the knife out of my back. Lexis might need it again. And the good doctor might want to give me a tetanus shot. I think she bled on me. Stunned silence. I often had that effect."

Betrayal, Jealousy, Humor, Pain

"And the peace! The most magnificent peace. I lose myself in a place where time no longer exists and nothing is impossible. I can do anything I imagine. I can fight and win any war. Nothing frightens me, because I know I'm here for a reason; and I'm not alone. I have friends in high places. Friends here. Friends up there. Victory is mine."

Confidence, Peace, Imagination, Strength, Faith