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"She gave him a double-birded salute, and he barked out a rusty laugh. I'm laughing. Me. When was the last time that had happened? He couldn't remember. But she kept doing things to amuse him. Shock him, even. Like pulling out a sword and expressing a very real fear about zombies. Zombies."
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"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."

"She watched him for a long moment, an adorably annoyed frown wrinkling her forehead. "You're obnoxious when you're right."

"The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first - wanting to be the centre - wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. Some people think the fall of man had something to do with sex, but that is a mistake...what Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they 'could be like Gods' - could set up on their own as if they had created themselves - be their own masters - invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come...the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."

"I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people's faeces more disgusting than a bird's droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all."
Explore more quotes by Gena Showalter

"Every night death came, slowly, painfully, and every morning Maddox awoke in bed, knowing he'd have to die again later. That was his greatest curse and his eternal punishment."

"She wasn't easy to be around at the best of times, and during the worst, well, she sucked flaming balls of mean...Still she wanted his eternal admiration."

"Need a triumph, his demon whined.I'll get you one. Promise.Sure?What are you, Doubt? Yeah, I'm sure."

"What was worse, he couldn't tell her how much he thought he maybe might kinda sorta love her."

"Should I pull on a shirt?" he asked with hint of amusement. I WILL NOT BLUSH. "No." He'd be doing the world a favor if he never wore a shirt again, but I wasn't going to tell him that part. "You're fine."

"What makes big boobs and perkiness so attractive to boys? I mean, really. Two round, mounds of fat and a fake smile. Yeah, winning attributes."

"Her little fists pummeled at him, and he accepted the abuse. Until he realized she'd made an improper fist and was actually hurting herself. He wound an arm around her waist, spun her and slammed her into the hard line of his body to still her."Let me go!"In a minute. As she struggled, he pulled her thumb out from beneath her fingers and rearranged her fist. "Hit like this. Done, he released her."

"And the peace! The most magnificent peace. I lose myself in a place where time no longer exists and nothing is impossible. I can do anything I imagine. I can fight and win any war. Nothing frightens me, because I know I'm here for a reason; and I'm not alone. I have friends in high places. Friends here. Friends up there. Victory is mine."

"I tried to tell you. You said you didn't care, remember?"A muscle ticked below his eye. "You should have told me anyway.""While you had barbells within your reach? Please. I'm Disease, not Stupid."
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