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"To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee."
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"Egoism and Money [Goddess of wealth; Lakshmi] are very much at odds [have great enmity]. There should be just enough egoism to accomplish one's work. Beyond that, any expanded egoism and money have great enmity. Money (Lakshmi) stays away from it."

"A wise person should have money in their head, but not in their heart."

"There's a correlation between the number of digits on a man's bank balance, and, the number of things that his woman is willing to forgive him for."
Explore more quotes by David Spade

"In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends."

"Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, 'That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.'"

"You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun."

"I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder."

"I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those."

"There are too many fawning entertainment shows out there and not one of them is making fun of it all."

"It's just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out. I'm sure I will, but I'm just trying to postpone it."
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