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"My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted."
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"The next stage of evolution is the evolution of perception, the evolution of the mind."
"Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended. And this is all very natural and organic and in tune with mysterious cycles of the cosmos, which believes that there's nothing like millions of years of really frustrating trial and error to give a species moral fiber and, in some cases, backbone."
"For a man, the optimal evolutionary strategy is to disseminate his genes as widely as possible, given his few minutes (or, alas, seconds) of investment in each encounter. It all makes simple evolutionary sense, since a woman invests a good deal of time and effort -a nine month long, risky, strenuous pregnancy, in each offspring. Naturally she has to be very discerning in her choice of sexual partners."
"We must throw out the old, fear-based thought-forms and evolve, and begin to live as higher beings of compassion."
"As we transcended and transformed from Neanderthal so will future humans transcend to a new level of consciousness and transform into a super human or homo-cosmicus."
"There is nothing ideal in Nature, because it was not created by some sort of ideal Almighty Being with perfect peerless craftsmanship. Nature as it is, has evolved through millions of years out of the biological drive for survival."
"The reality however is that in order to make progress in life, we have to embrace discomfort."
"It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."
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