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Dennis Miller

"President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which."

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"President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which."

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Donna Grant

"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

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"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

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Donna Grant

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

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"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."

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Donna Grant

"I do give books as gifts sometimes, when people would rather have one than a new Ferrari."

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Donna Grant

"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."

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Donna Grant

"Perhaps being old is having lighted rooms inside your head, and people in them, acting. People you know, yet can't quite name."

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Donna Grant

"The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action."

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Donna Grant

"Do you genuinely love people? Or at least make an effort to like them? Your first impressions will be made easier and more successful when you start with your heart."

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Dennis Miller
"I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy."
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Dennis Miller
"Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?"
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"What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign."
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"Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways."
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Dennis Miller
"Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch."
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Dennis Miller
"Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet."
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Dennis Miller
"Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again."
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Dennis Miller
"Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time."
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Dennis Miller
"The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens."
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Dennis Miller
"A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run."
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