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Dennis Miller

"President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which."

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"President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which."

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Asa Don Brown

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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"Do you genuinely love people? Or at least make an effort to like them? Your first impressions will be made easier and more successful when you start with your heart."

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Asa Don Brown

"People will not remember what you did for living,they will remember how you touched them with kindness and loving."

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"He makes people pleased with him by making them first pleased with themselves."

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"People are always good company when they are doing what they really enjoy."

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"No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible."

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Asa Don Brown

"With most people disbelief in a thing is founded on a blind belief in some other thing."

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Asa Don Brown

"There are three categories of people exist in the world; "the wanters", "the wishers" and "the makers."

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Asa Don Brown

"Prune - prune businesses, products, activities, people. Do it annually."

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Asa Don Brown

"Some people bear three kinds of trouble - the ones they've had, the ones they have, and the ones they expect to have."

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Dennis Miller
"You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R."
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Dennis Miller
"Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again."
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Dennis Miller
"There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it."
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Dennis Miller
"What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy."
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Dennis Miller
"Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch."
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Dennis Miller
"Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?"
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Dennis Miller
"Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways."
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Dennis Miller
"The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens."
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Dennis Miller
"I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy."
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Dennis Miller
"Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet."
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