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Mitch Hedberg

"I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones."

Mitch Hedberg, American Comedian
Word, Words
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"I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones."

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Asa Don Brown

"It is obvious that we can no more explain a passion to a person who has never experienced it than we can explain light to the blind."

T. S. Eliot, American Poet
Word, Blind, Light, Obvious, Passion
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Asa Don Brown

"If you say a word against a 'sensitive' person, it will have an immediate effect. In reality, words are simply a 'record' playing."

Dada Bhagwan, Indian Spiritual Leader
Word, Truth, Wisdom, Power, Regret
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Asa Don Brown

"The world's most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher
Word, Venom, Wife, Tongue, Lethal
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Asa Don Brown

"The word of my lord is the sword for world."

Toba Beta, Indonesian Author
Word, Power, Truth, Wisdom, Today
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Asa Don Brown

"My word fly up my thoughts remain below: Words without thoughts never to heaven go."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist
Word, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Power
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Asa Don Brown

"'Realistic' is a loaded word for me. Anyone who uses the word 'realistic' is all bad."

David R. Brower, American Environmentalist
Word,
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Asa Don Brown

"Cancelled isn't a bad word because it happens everyday."

Wayne Brady, American Comedian
Word,
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Asa Don Brown

"A million words were going through my head and honestly I didn't say one of them. I wanted to let it sit, simmer, you know I wanted to soak it all in - the moment was amazing."

Stefano Langone, American Musician
Word, Words
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Asa Don Brown

"I don't even like to use the word relationship. I don't know what it means."

Ron Silver, American Actor
Word,
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Asa Don Brown

"I learned that you don't have to be all over the place, that you can be subtle and you can say what you say. The words that you put together can be just as hilarious as falling all over the place or doing something."

Mike Epps, American Comedian
Word, Words

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Mitch Hedberg
"If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work."
Work
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Mitch Hedberg
"I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people."
People
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Mitch Hedberg
"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."
Time
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Mitch Hedberg
"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"
Wrong
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Mitch Hedberg
"I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all."
Time
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Mitch Hedberg
"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."
Love
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Mitch Hedberg
"My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set."
Sister
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Mitch Hedberg
"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
Business
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Mitch Hedberg
"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."
Fun
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Mitch Hedberg
"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."
Plants
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