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"Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash."
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Exlpore more Driving quotes

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'"

"My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood."

"It seems that whatever we do is somehow beyond reproach - murder, rape, drunk driving - as long as we go on a TV show and apologize."

"It's the equivalent of putting on the brakes suddenly while driving uphill."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry

"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."

"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."

"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland."

"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example."

"If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'"

"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
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