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Dave Barry

"Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash."

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"Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash."

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Asa Don Brown

"This would not be a problem if I were driving a snowplow."

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Asa Don Brown

"The driving force behind the liberal counter-offensive in Europe has been a reaction against irresponsibility."

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Asa Don Brown

"It allows you to say things that sound very dramatic and get away with it. If you had characters in modern fiction say the same things as they're driving down the street in an Oldsmobile they'd sound ludicrous!"

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Asa Don Brown

"Composing is like driving down a foggy road toward a house. Slowly you see more details of the house-the color of the slates and bricks, the shape of the windows. The notes are the bricks and the mortar of the house."

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Asa Don Brown

"Mind your driving."

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Asa Don Brown

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'"

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Asa Don Brown

"I mean, I guess I realized subconsciously that this is what I should be doing before I realized it, consciously. Verbally, I don't think I had committed to it, even though I was driving everywhere, every night, just trying to get on stage."

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Asa Don Brown

"My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood."

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Asa Don Brown

"It seems that whatever we do is somehow beyond reproach - murder, rape, drunk driving - as long as we go on a TV show and apologize."

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Asa Don Brown

"It's the equivalent of putting on the brakes suddenly while driving uphill."

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Dave Barry
"Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting."
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Dave Barry
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."
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Dave Barry
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
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Dave Barry
"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland."
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Dave Barry
"The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot."
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Dave Barry
"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example."
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Dave Barry
"If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'"
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Dave Barry
"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
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Dave Barry
"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."
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Dave Barry
"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business."
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