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Gene Fowler

"I will be brief. Not nearly so brief as Salvador Dali, who gave the world's shortest speech. He said I will be so brief I have already finished, and he sat down."

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"I will be brief. Not nearly so brief as Salvador Dali, who gave the world's shortest speech. He said I will be so brief I have already finished, and he sat down."

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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

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"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

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"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

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"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

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"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

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"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

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"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."

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"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."

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"In examinations the foolish ask questions that the wise cannot answer."

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"Zombies are far better than religious people, because they do not discriminate in killing."

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"They that will not be counseled, cannot be helped. If you do not hear reason she will rap you on the knuckles."
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"The best way to become a successful writer is to read good writing, remember it, and then forget where you remember it from."
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"What is success? It is a toy balloon among children armed with pins."
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"Everyone needs a warm personal enemy or two to keep him free from rust in the movable parts of his mind."
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"Sometimes I think my writing sounds like I walked out of the room and left the typewriter running."
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"Whatever one believes to be true either is true or becomes true in one's mind."
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"He has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled."
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"Men are not against you; they are merely for themselves."
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"Love and memory last and will so endure till the game is called because of darkness."
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"I believe Mrs. Thatcher's emphasis on enterprise was right."
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