"See?" he said, with an unholy amount of glee. "I hardly broke any laws at all. I should drive more often.""No. Trust me, you shouldn't," Eve said. "Think of all the little old people and the children."

Humor, Caution, Trust, Chaos

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"See?" he said, with an unholy amount of glee. "I hardly broke any laws at all. I should drive more often.""No. Trust me, you shouldn't," Eve said. "Think of all the little old people and the children."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Confusion, Logic, Irony

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Women, Needs, Attention

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

Agatha Christie, English Writer

Humor, Aging, Appearance, Truth

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Change, Responsibility, Life

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

Humor, Death, Danger, Irony

Explore more quotes by Rachel Caine

"That's kind of a leap, but the Russian judge gave you a nine point five for style, so okay."

Humor

"Do be careful. I can't replace you as easily as all that."

Concern

"What are you going to do? Are you going to live in the dark, locked in here? Afraid to look out, answer the door, leave? Yes, he's out there, and he's clearly not going to leave you alone until one of three things happens: he hurts you and gets arrested, or he makes a mistake and gets arrested, or you stop him."

Courage

"Michael...Michael got bitten. And now he's a vampire. But he doesn't remember becoming one, and that's a big problem. So if you see him, don't, you know, hug. He bites. He doesn't mean it, though."

Fantasy

"Don't read it. Just shred and burn, or your eyes will melt."

Danger

"Are you all right?" The question surprised Jess, and it broke through his black shell enough to make him throw a look at his friend. "No." I didn't think you were. Everyone wants you to be. That must be worse, that they think you should be fine."

Emotion

"How'd you get to be so good at this?""I had a good teacher.""Better not have been Myrnin or I'll have to kick his predatory ass.""I mean you, dummy.""Oh."

Learning

"You are so lucky I'm too tired to murder you right now."

Humor

"Does it give you deja voodoo how alike the houses are?""That's deja vu, and I hate you right now.""For narcing on you to your mom? Wait until you hear what I tell your dad."From the sly grin on his face, she knew what he was thinking."Don't you even think about it.""I could tell him about the time we-""Hell, no."

Humor

"They've all got stories, Jess thought. I need to know them. Best of all, he could know them. He could learn anything here. It felt like limitless possibilities."

Knowledge