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Rita Rudner

"Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them."

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"Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them."

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Akiroq Brost

"My father knew the charming side of my mother, and my mother thought that he was attentive and pleasant and was an architect, which was a respectable profession, but I don't think that they actually got to know one another deeply."

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Akiroq Brost

"I have many memories of waking up to eat breakfast that my mother carefully prepared for us and her saying, what do y'all want for lunch, and as we're eating lunch, what do y'all want for dinner? It's always about the next meal."

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Akiroq Brost

"I don't remember my mother ever playing with me. And she was a perfectly good mother. But she had to do the laundry and clean the house and do the grocery shopping."

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Akiroq Brost

"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."

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Akiroq Brost

"My mother wasn't rational those last years; if she had been, she would have been horrified by her own behavior."

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Akiroq Brost

"My mother always called me an ugly weed, so I never was aware of anything until I was older. Plain girls should have someone telling them they are beautiful. Sometimes this works miracles."

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Akiroq Brost

"Necessity, the mother of invention."

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Akiroq Brost

"The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children."

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Akiroq Brost

"I praticed making faces in the mirror and it would drive my mother crazy. She used to scare me by saying that I was going to see the devil if I kept looking in the mirror. That fascinated me even more, of course."

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Akiroq Brost

"I am no mother, and I won't be one."

Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."
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Rita Rudner
"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
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Rita Rudner
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
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Rita Rudner
"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
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Rita Rudner
"Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"
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Rita Rudner
"I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them."
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Rita Rudner
"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."
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Rita Rudner
"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."
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Rita Rudner
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
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Rita Rudner
"Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?"
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