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"A sense of humour is the only divine quality of man."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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"Great minds are related to the brief span of time during which they live as great buildings are to a little square in which they stand: you cannot see them in all their magnitude because you are standing too close to them."
Time
"The man never feels the want of what it never occurs to him to ask for."
Man
"After your death you will be what you were before your birth."
Death
"Suffering by nature or chance never seems so painful as suffering inflicted on us by the arbitrary will of another."
Nature
"Men are by nature merely indifferent to one another; but women are by nature enemies."
Nature
"If you want to know your true opinion of someone, watch the effect produced in you by the first sight of a letter from him."
Relationship
"Almost all of our sorrows spring out of our relations with other people."
People
"The difficulty is to try and teach the multitude that something can be true and untrue at the same time."
Time
"There is no doubt that life is given us, not to be enjoyed, but to be overcome; to be got over."
Life
"We forfeit three-quarters of ourselves in order to be like other people."
People
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