"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."

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"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."

Exlpore more Pet quotes

"My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo."

Billy Connolly, Scottish Comedian

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"It's true, you can never eat a pet you name. And anyway, it would be like a ventriloquist eating his dummy."

Alexander Theroux, American Author

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"I have some road rage inside of me. Traffic, especially in L.A., is a pet peeve of mine."

Katie Holmes, American Actress

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"I have a Lab, it's fun to hang out and hike with the dog, people come up to him, and pet him, it's fun."

George Eads, American Actor

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"Crabbed and obscure definitions are of no use beyond a narrow circle of students, of whom probably every one has a pet one of his own."

Frederick Pollock, English Judge

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"When a guy tells me I'm cute, it's not something desirable. Cute is more like what you want your pet to be."

Natalie Portman, American Actress

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"I was in New York and I walked into this pet store and came out with a dog."

Beverley Mitchell, American Actress

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"My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere."

Steven Wright, American Comedian

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"I got a pet monkey called Charlie Chan."

Jimi Hendrix, American Musician

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"I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation."

Whoopi Goldberg, American Actress

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Explore more quotes by George Carlin

"TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out to be another day, but we can't be sure. If it happens, I'll be the first to say so. But, you know what? By that time, it'll be today again."

Life

"Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."

Relationship

"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."

Society

"I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in."

Philosophy

"So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family."

Humor

"Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name."

Self-Help

"Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. Then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal. It's a matter of how you pick them."

Philosophy

"Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed."

Humor

"You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble."

Life

"No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to."

Philosophy