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Phyllis Diller

"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."

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"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."

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Donna Grant

"We cannot measure time. We can only measure changes of life and the universe."

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Donna Grant

"I wouldn't ask too much of her,' I ventured. 'You can't change the past.''Can't change the past?' he cried incredulously. 'Why of course you can!"

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Donna Grant

"Life is a bubble in the ocean of time. At the same time, it can hold all the water of the ocean in her heart."

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Donna Grant

"Wouldn't it be amazing if you could travel into the future, see where you messed up, and then go back in time to rearrange things in order to make your future better? You can. If you can foresee regret, you can mind-travel to the future. If you can train yourself to mind-travel effectively, you can intentionally affect your future by doing something about it today."

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Donna Grant

"A broad margin of leisure is as beautiful in a man's life as in a book. Haste makes waste, no less in life than in housekeeping. Keep the time, observe the hours of the universe, not of the cars."

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Donna Grant

"God had infinite time to give us.... He cut it up into a near succession of new mornings and with each therefore a new idea new inventions and new applications."

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Donna Grant

"Time is the greatest and longest-established spinner of all. ... His factory is a secret place his work noiseless and his hands are mutes."

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Donna Grant

"Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke."

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Donna Grant

"The value of time is immeasurable."

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Donna Grant

"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever."

Explore more quotes by Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."
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Phyllis Diller
"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."
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Phyllis Diller
"There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto."
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Phyllis Diller
"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core."
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Phyllis Diller
"The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you."
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Phyllis Diller
"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."
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Phyllis Diller
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
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Phyllis Diller
"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."
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Phyllis Diller
"You know you're old if your walker has an airbag."
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Phyllis Diller
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
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