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"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."
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"The value of time is immeasurable."

"Worrying about what happened on Monday, or, what might happen on Wednesday, is at the expense of one's Tuesday."

"Don't equate effective living to being busy."

"Time passes..and a billion lives are affected in ways we'll never know."

"Time is standing still, but we are running away from it and complaining that time is slipping away from us."

"Time is the sole photographer of all the times, from the Big Bang till the possible Big Crunch!"
Explore more quotes by Phyllis Diller

"I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?"

"Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
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