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Phyllis Diller

"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."

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"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."

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Amber Hurdle

"Today and now I hate this words they sound horrible, sound powerful and you just get more older and more older. I just said them when I was 9, now I'm 16 soon I will be 17. And again I use them "now" and "today" you can also say "no" but it's now 18:07 after five blinks with the eyes it just becomes 18:08, I hate today. Everyone uses it, but it's for two different places I also use today, for me is 4.10.2016, but for you this is past, and your today is 4.10.2026..."

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Amber Hurdle

"ING is ending for something which continue and continue...So Morning - Continue - Start AfterNoon - The Middle - Almost finish Night - The ENd - Finish."

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Amber Hurdle

"It's strange how in childhood it feels like tomorrow won't come until the end of forever, but in adulthood it feels like the end of forever could come tomorrow."

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Amber Hurdle

"For an author to write as he speaks is just as reprehensible as the opposite fault, to speak as he writes; for this gives a pedantic effect to what he says, and at the same time makes him hardly intelligible."

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Amber Hurdle

"Father always said that money doesn't grow on trees. Well, time doesn't grow on trees either."

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Amber Hurdle

"The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself."

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Amber Hurdle

"Time is one ramp putting you in the place going down by bus, but if you decide on this stop to stop and to run backward you will be there, but in different time and day... But this what has happen makes a big scar, look me my father is dead 25 days + 3 = 28 days from his dead, he suicided 27, so yesterday was the 27 day."

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Amber Hurdle

"Let every man be master of his time."

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Amber Hurdle

"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once."

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Amber Hurdle

"But Time, unfortunately, though it makes animals and vegetables bloom and fade with amazing punctuality, has no such simple effect upon the mind of man. The mind of man, moreover, works with equal strangeness upon the body of time. An hour, once it lodges in the queer element of the human spirit, may be stretched to fifty or a hundred times its clock length; on the other hand, an hour may be accurately represented on the timepiece of the mind by one second."

Explore more quotes by Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."
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Phyllis Diller
"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."
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Phyllis Diller
"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"
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Phyllis Diller
"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."
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Phyllis Diller
"My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee."
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Phyllis Diller
"I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing."
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Phyllis Diller
"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."
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Phyllis Diller
"There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto."
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Phyllis Diller
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
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Phyllis Diller
"Our dog died from licking our wedding picture."
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