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Steven Wright

"A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here."

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"A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here."

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Amber Hurdle

"You are looking at the world from your window, that's good, but there is something missing here, something very big: You must also look at your window from the world to see yourself!"

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Amber Hurdle

"The past is far behind. If you still want to look at it, you will painfully stretch your neck muscles. Don't live in the past, leave the past, but learn from it."

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Amber Hurdle

"This earth in which we are living is not our everlasting home."

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Amber Hurdle

"Don't predict the condition of the entire day by the state of the morning. You don't judge a book by its cover. A cloudy morning is no guarantee for a rainy day!"

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Amber Hurdle

"Prayer has to be fervent, intensive, passionate and from the heart."

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Amber Hurdle

"If we start to complain, destruction is right at our door."

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Amber Hurdle

"Every eye makes its own perception."

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Amber Hurdle

"It is better to dwell on the beautiful things in life than the negative."

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Amber Hurdle

"There is a different world on the other side of your present attitude."

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Amber Hurdle

"Behind your view there are other views; to see them, you must first visit the view you see!"

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Steven Wright
"I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator."
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"When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction."
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Steven Wright
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
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Steven Wright
"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."
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Steven Wright
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
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Steven Wright
"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."
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Steven Wright
"It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."
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Steven Wright
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
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Steven Wright
"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time."
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Steven Wright
"When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect, then they told me nobody's perfect so I stopped practicing."
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