top of page
.png){kind=small}
"Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize.' Except at a funeral."
Standard
Customized
Exlpore more Saying quotes
"There was a lot of stress and assumptions made without me even saying anything, which was very upsetting."
"Rather than saying that the commissioner is hired by the owners and therefore is subservient to them, you have to look at whether or not the players are getting a fair shake."
"As soon as Young read my statements and saw clearly what I was saying, he stopped communicating with me."
"I wouldn't write a book, because saying the word I over and over again would nauseate me."
"If somebody's pointing a trembling finger at your pants and saying you shouldn't be doing that, follow that finger back, go up the arm and look at the head that's behind it, because there's almost always something fairly woolly in there."
"This is about Floridians saying what's most important to them and making sure that we create an agenda that we can drive and deliver back in Washington, D.C. So it's very exciting."
"A classic is a book that has never finished saying what it has to say."
Explore more quotes by Demetri Martin
"People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy."
"I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'huh? What the hell is this?' But if it's in a fruit basket you're like, 'this is nice!'"
"I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'"
"I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs."
"Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest."
"I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar."
bottom of page