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Brad Garrett

"But I believe that there are marriages where you can have your pool table and she can have her scrapbooking room or garden or whatever it is. But when everyone has what they want, it's not funny. There's no conflict."

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"But I believe that there are marriages where you can have your pool table and she can have her scrapbooking room or garden or whatever it is. But when everyone has what they want, it's not funny. There's no conflict."

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"So what I do now is to pre-empt that by making the up into a virtue, and telling funny stories about how crap I am before people have a chance to notice it for themselves and think maybe I haven't realised."

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"We have always had gross humor. But we try for funny, not gross."

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"I think back to some of the things Harry said and some of the things I said trying to be funny. If I said them now, it would be on the front page of every newspaper in the country."

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"Well, I had said to my friends, it's going to be good, but I bet it's going to be cheesy in a way. And I didn't think that at all. It's so good and was just so funny."

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"Let's make some funny pictures."

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"Every movie I do, or when I'm on the sketch comedy show, I don't really get into it until I have an outfit or something funny with my head or face or something."

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"There's a black man inside of me just trying to make bail."
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"It's fun to play people who are flawed."
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"You take away all the other luxuries in life, and if you can make someone smile and laugh, you have given the most special gift: happiness."
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"My whole life, I've been telling jokes."
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"I was very, very large as a kid and never athletic, and my home life was a little upside down and I never felt comfortable."
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"We don't take care of our teachers and our cops and our firemen. They should be at the top of our list."
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"It's all I have left in my life, caffeine and a poodle."
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