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"When I started I'd fly across the country to do a gig for a hundred bucks."
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"There were a number of referendums in '98 that most of the things I voted for passed. That's very satisfying when you feel that most of the country is in step with your views."

"Anybody can be good in the country. There are no temptations there."

"Commuting from New York to Hollywood to do this show gets more interesting every week. Before I used to think the country was just New York on one end and Los Angeles on the other, with sand and mountains in the middle."
Explore more quotes by David Spade

"Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, 'That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.'"

"In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends."

"It's just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out. I'm sure I will, but I'm just trying to postpone it."

"I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder."

"You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun."
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