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"If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work."
Standard
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"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later."
Dream
"I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs."
Soccer
"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"
Wrong
"I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle."
Water
"I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too."
Drugs
"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."
Cause
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!"
Children
"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."
Gambling
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
Tennis
"It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky."
People
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"That most limited of all specialists, the "well-rounded man"."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The world system is employment."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Police officers are poorly paid for a very stressful job that has them in very high powered radio frequency (RF) fields and in a daily environment that may result in them being assaulted, maimed or killed."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A butler supplies food to nourish your body, but a writer nourishes your mind through writing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was cranked to a fifth gear, and everything I did, I did on a deadline."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Do not be weary to make money."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My favourite all-time work of fiction: Lord of the Rings. My favourite all-time nonfiction book: Guns, Germs, and Steel. Ask me again next week, you'll get a different answer."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Work was intended not to give a man a reason to live, but rather to give him a means to live."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Next to us is not the workman whom we have hired, with whom we love so well to talk, but the workman whose work we are."
Author Name
Personal Development
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