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"Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit."
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Exlpore more Marriage quotes
"I'm certain that most couples expect to find intimacy in marriage, but it somehow eludes them."
"Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two."
"I also remembered Buddy Willard saying in a sinister, knowing way that after Ihad children I would feel differently, I wouldn't want to write poems any more. So I began to think maybe it was true that when you were married and had children it was like being brainwashed, and afterward you went about numb as a slave in some private, totalitarian state."
"Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest."
"Treat marriage like a diamond necklace; if broken, fix it, but do not throw it away."
"You contribute much to your marriage by the wise, thrifty, diligent management and oversight of your part of the household budget."
Explore more quotes by Billy Connolly
"I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered."
"My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger."
"I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far."
"I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless."
"It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things."
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