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"Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit."
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"I invented the psychological histories and the relationship between Jack and Susan Stanton. I didn't know anything about the Clintons. I don't know more about the Clintons' marriage than you do."

"There were times after my marriage ended where, you know, I really felt like I was at the bottom of a mountain, there was a great big, fog up there, and I'm never going to cross to the other side."

"Maybe the difference between first marriage and second marriage is that the second time at least you know you are gambling."

"There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them."

"Successful marriage hinges on the application of knowledge - knowing and understanding God's principles not the exchange of love.. Brother you can be in love all you want but that doesn't make the woman the right person. Same with ladues, you can be head over heels with him but that doesn't make him the right husband.In all your getting, get knowledge and understanding."

"Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance."

"Marriage n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master a mistress and two slaves making in all two."
Explore more quotes by Billy Connolly

"My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger."

"The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know."

"I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless."

"I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do."

"I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little."
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