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"Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit."
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"Our national media refuses to report that even the Supreme Court did not say marriage was a human right in all cases nor did it say that the heterosexual definition violated anyone's right or that the heterosexual definition of marriage was unconstitutional."
"Just as one has no choice but to defecate, one has no choice but to get married. If your mind remains single, then there is no problem. However, one has no choice but marry if the mind is already married."
"When she had first crossed the dry and dusty world which his mind inhabited she had been like a spring shower; in opening himself to it he had not been mistaken. He had gone wrong only in assuming that marriage, by itself, gave him either power or title to appropriate that freshness. As he now saw, one might as well have thought one could buy a sunset by buying the field from which one had seen it."
"An affair now and then is good for a marriage. It adds spice, stops it from getting boring... I ought to know."
"How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive."
"Without thinking highly either of men or of matrimony, marriage had always been her object; it was the only honourable provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be their pleasantest preservative from want."
Explore more quotes by Billy Connolly
"I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be."
"I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless."
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